Second Round of Bios

Camper 6
Codename: Sexy Time
Sexy Time introduced me to skanking. No, not that type... the kind involving ska music and checkerboard suspenders. I don't know where he picked it up, it could have been in one of the thousands of places that he lived in growing up or it could be just another one of those skills he picked up while break-dancing his way through college (true story, that's how he financed his junior year). Realizing midway through his master's year that professional dancing wouldn't finance his extravagant lifestyle, he decided to move into the glamorous field of Direct Mailing. Yeah, you know those credit card offers you get everyday? He sends them.
Drink: Stella

Camper 7
Codename: Raynbo
This one is practically a legend. Famous (infamous? i always forget the difference) for his quadruple chambered liver, he has proven that alcohol abuse, while tragic, is usually a good time. The great outdoors may be the proper place for such a creature as this, as he has been known to kick through a plate glass door simply because he could and the second bottle of Jim Beam told him to. When not proving that "one more round" is usually a good idea, he can be found (sometimes with myself in tow) singing outside the L-train (usually poor covers of Guns 'n Roses or The Beatles) while weakly holding a Styrofoam container hoping to finance the next weekend.
Drink: Winecoolers, bourbon and scotch.

Camper 8
Codename: Poprocks

You may not notice it at first, but on hour eight or nine you will. Poprocks runs on an unknown and inexhaustible source of energy. It's believed that in the years training to be a material scientist she discovered something that has given her this superhero-like power. How would you harness this power if you were blessed with this gift? Poprocks channels this energy into her two main activities: smiling and Ultimate Frisbee. Now that you know that, you know you shouldn't mention her height—she can take off your head with a plastic disc at 200 meters.
Drink: Anything with a high sugar content

Camper 9
Codename: Redneck
All you need to know about this girl is that you've never met her. Got it? She was never there, didn't see anything and knows even less. Okay, I'll tell you, but this is just between you and me. She grew up on the mean streets of Newark, NJ, kicking ass and taking names. He pseudonym then was the "Mighty Meerkat." Well, lets just say she saw something, something that had the potential to put some people in a "family" away for a long time. Thankfully, the feds got to her first and this formerly red haired Irish gem, went under some extensive reconstructive surgery. After a short stint in a unknown ivy league school in upstate NY, her cover was finally blown (long story involving a bottle of Soco, a drumstick and a very unhappy Iranian). She was forced to assume a new identity and move south. Real south. So don't laugh at her pathetic southern accent, she's just trying to sell the part.

Drink: Yes

Camper 10
Codename: Feeders
You ever meet someone and immediately know that some day you'll see his picture on tv, demanding ransom from the UN with a army of killer robots standing in formation behind him? Well, Feeders may be that guy. I knew it on the first night we went out drinking. After helping to prevent a fight between an associate of ours and a Grip from the Real World Philadelphia, he began barking at a poor girl walking her dog down Second. Now based out of DC, he's got a whole new population to psychologically torture. Don't let his goofy smile fool you, he's a evil genius in the making. Sure, he started off scheduling Tractor Trailers (not be the most intelligent army), but look in his eyes, the killbots cannot be that far away.

Drink: Another Beer.

Best Survey Results So Far

Okay.. so hopefully I'm going camping with you. Yes *you*! What, you
haven't written me back yet? Well get on it! Yeah.. some planning has
to be done... Here are some of the best answers I've received for each
section... you may submit more than once if you are upset that your
suggestion didn't make it

First Questions (Are you the right person to camp with me?):

Did you read Lord of the Flies and think, "why not me?"
Read?
*Right dude, I read that right after Gone with the Wind.
*No, but I did with Batman.

Do you live in fear of our technology rising up against us?
*yes... the evil robots

Did you call Steve Irwin a Pussy?
*It's weird you wrote, as I'd been calling Steve Irwin a pussy
all morning!

Has it been months or years since you've actually seen a star or you
believe the sky is actually made of smog?
*Star light, star bright, first star I've seen in my life, I wish I may...

Is the "Man" bringing you down?
*I'm unemployed! I guess that makes me the man!!!
*You're the man now, dog!

And finally, the survey questions... I usually tried to choose my
favorite, but if I couldn't decide, both are there.
1) Are you interested at all?
*Yes, I'm fucking interested.

2) How interested are you (1-10 with ten being most interested)?
*7 as it's the largest prime number in the possible result set
*I'm interested enough to sniff your butt to find out if I'm interested in being more interested. So that's like a 5 or 6.

3) Kitchen is to Microwave as Campsite is to ________?
*I got a 490 on this portion of the SATs.. campfire?
*Kitchen is to microwave as campsite is to true love

4) Where do you want to go camping (if you have any preference)?
*Close to a trainstation

a. If you have no preference, what criteria do you look for in a
campground?
*In my pants.
*preferably near naked coeds

b. Can you swim?
*Yeah but I almost drown a couple summers ago.
*Yes, but just because I used to be a lifeguard doesn't mean I'm going to save anyone else who can't

c. Can you canoe? Kayak? Pilot a motor boat? Do you own any of
those?
*I can swamp two of the three

5) How long do you want to go for?
*Until we run out of food and alcohol

6) What dates are umpossible?
*Your mom unfortunately.

7) What dates are preferred?
*As the president of the Provisionals' fan club I'll go whenever a member of the band will be there
*I prefer my dates to have good hygiene, be tall, and pay.

8) What gear would you need to acquire/borrow/steal?
sleeping bag, tent, car, food, money, women,
prophylactics

9) Do you have a car or would you be able to get a ride with
someone who did?
i dunno, are you someone?

10) Do you have any dietary restrictions? (You will not be considered
for a spot if you have a peanut allergy).
*People with food allergies should be killed and eaten by the rest of us that aren't pussies.
*I need to eat every 17 minutes and if I don't, I will eat a different nonessential part of your body until I get some s'mores

11) Comments, additional questions:
*Sometimes I think that the clothes that I don't take on vacation with me feel bad that they weren't included and talk shit about me while I'm gone.

12) Haiku
Mud between my toes; whisky, the sounds of voices; the smell of
campfires.

I really enjoyed; Dan Akroyd and John Candy; In The Great Outdoors

im gonna haiku; haiku the shit out of it; haiku its brains out

The sun shines brightly; but my skin is still so white; oh yeah, I'm inside

we'll have outdoors sex; instead...i'm an engineer; don't do poetry

(note: the following is not a haiku... it's okay, she was an engineer)
Once there was a girl from Philly
Who moved to New York and felt silly,
She worked for UPS,
Cried from the stress,
And moved to Vermont where it's hilly.

Crew Bios

Here is the first Installment... if you see yourself and are NOT
coming, let me know. If you don't see yourself and are DEFINITELY
coming, let me know.

More Bios to come.

Camper 1
Codename: The Dirty Mexican
A former downhill skier from Upstate NY, he moved west to find his
fortune. Pursuing a career in ROCK while spending his free time
playing with geosynchronous satellites, he currently resides in San
Diego California. When he heard about the trip, he exclaimed in his
own quiet manner: Fuck yeah, I'm there. Don't be confused by his
swarthy appearance, he only rarely will pillage your village.
Drink: Microbrews or Vodka tea

Camper 2
Codename: Mau
Having lived in both Long Island and New Jersey, educated in
engineering and hating of all things hotdog, she may be the most
naturally adept outdoors woman in the history of the world (part I).
Don't be fooled by her batting eyelashes or sensuous lips, she is a
cold blooded killer and will cut you as soon as share her Malibu and
coke. Three days without an outlet to charge for her various
electronics will test her mettle.
Drink: Malibu and {Coke, Cranberry, Pineapple}

Camper 3
Codename: The Confused
The Confused is now in training for her second career (the east coast
one) as an unscrupulous litigator. Having lived in Beautiful San
Diego for a couple years, she found herself missing the assholish and
ugly population of the east cost. Weather? Yeah, that too, it was
just toooooooooo nice out there. After finding that the populous of
Boston doesn't have the biting wit the were advertised to have, she
has agreed to come camping with us in search of a new level of light
speed banter.
Drink: Bourbon or Red Wine

Camper 4
Codename: Juicy (no pants)
Another former disgruntled employee, Juicy has recently found himself
in the business of "Consulting". Why the air quotes, translated into
real quotes when placed in text, you ask? Well, rumor is that said
consulting gig has resulted in inordinate amounts of "work" from home.
The guy from "Supersize Me" is currently filming a special on "30
Days: Without Pants" with our Juicy as his subject. Note: Juicy is
currently assembling a small army to join him on this trip. He will
be providing the Bios for these Wacky Sacks of People-meat.
Drink: Miller Lite

Camper 5
Codename: Cheetos
No one is sure why she is called Cheetos, but ever after her vacation
with the Peace Corps in depressed areas of Jamaica, she has insisted
on being called Cheetos. She is seen occasionally sneaking around
lower Manhattan looking for places with cheap booze and outdoor
smoking areas. Little else is known about this camper other than she
has feet worthy of a [insert fancy shoe brand here] and her interests
are Fortran and costal modeling.
Drink: Rum, straight, any color, in a tall glass.