the center of superfun happy times

4.25.2008

Vegan Food Review 2 - Vegan Gourmet Cheese Alternative



Well I was unsurprised how uncheese like something labeled "Cheese Alternative" was. There was something reminiscent of the flavor of cheese (Monterey Jack Flavor) in there.. then again, you could say the same thing about a thin slice of shortening. In 18 point font it promises "It Melts!"
It doesn't.. at least after being left on a heating boca burger for 20 minutes or after a minute or two of microwaving. Regardless of heating, or time in the fridge, it has the consistency of regular firm tofu and a slightly crumbly texture when chewed.
All that being said.. with enough bourbon in your bloodstream as well as a hunger that can only be born of a month of veganism.. you can imagine that it could be a dairy product. and consistency-less, mostly flavorless dairy product. It actually adds something wonderful to the average boca burger, so i'll continue to rock it for the month.. but i suggest you never do.

From the website (www.imearthkind.com), here is a fan review... apparently, vegans are all high as shit and have no concept as what cheese should be like:
Some comments from our customers:

".....I have been vegan for over 13 years and have tried every vegan cheese I could find. Most of them were terrible. Until I came acrosss your cheese a couple years ago and now that it is sold on the west side, I can have easy access to it. I just wanted say I hope you have great success because I LOVE your cheese. I sometimes put it on sandwiches, make a grilled cheese or my favorite thing to do is to make delicious vegan tacos."

3 comments:

Braincube said...

You're fucking slaying me over here! You should be a food critic and write for your local newspaper..

lytri said...

Definitely a good storyteller. We need a published compilation I'm thinking. Also, vegan tacos? Are you fing kidding me?

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