Best Survey Results So Far

Okay.. so hopefully I'm going camping with you. Yes *you*! What, you
haven't written me back yet? Well get on it! Yeah.. some planning has
to be done... Here are some of the best answers I've received for each
section... you may submit more than once if you are upset that your
suggestion didn't make it

First Questions (Are you the right person to camp with me?):

Did you read Lord of the Flies and think, "why not me?"
Read?
*Right dude, I read that right after Gone with the Wind.
*No, but I did with Batman.

Do you live in fear of our technology rising up against us?
*yes... the evil robots

Did you call Steve Irwin a Pussy?
*It's weird you wrote, as I'd been calling Steve Irwin a pussy
all morning!

Has it been months or years since you've actually seen a star or you
believe the sky is actually made of smog?
*Star light, star bright, first star I've seen in my life, I wish I may...

Is the "Man" bringing you down?
*I'm unemployed! I guess that makes me the man!!!
*You're the man now, dog!

And finally, the survey questions... I usually tried to choose my
favorite, but if I couldn't decide, both are there.
1) Are you interested at all?
*Yes, I'm fucking interested.

2) How interested are you (1-10 with ten being most interested)?
*7 as it's the largest prime number in the possible result set
*I'm interested enough to sniff your butt to find out if I'm interested in being more interested. So that's like a 5 or 6.

3) Kitchen is to Microwave as Campsite is to ________?
*I got a 490 on this portion of the SATs.. campfire?
*Kitchen is to microwave as campsite is to true love

4) Where do you want to go camping (if you have any preference)?
*Close to a trainstation

a. If you have no preference, what criteria do you look for in a
campground?
*In my pants.
*preferably near naked coeds

b. Can you swim?
*Yeah but I almost drown a couple summers ago.
*Yes, but just because I used to be a lifeguard doesn't mean I'm going to save anyone else who can't

c. Can you canoe? Kayak? Pilot a motor boat? Do you own any of
those?
*I can swamp two of the three

5) How long do you want to go for?
*Until we run out of food and alcohol

6) What dates are umpossible?
*Your mom unfortunately.

7) What dates are preferred?
*As the president of the Provisionals' fan club I'll go whenever a member of the band will be there
*I prefer my dates to have good hygiene, be tall, and pay.

8) What gear would you need to acquire/borrow/steal?
sleeping bag, tent, car, food, money, women,
prophylactics

9) Do you have a car or would you be able to get a ride with
someone who did?
i dunno, are you someone?

10) Do you have any dietary restrictions? (You will not be considered
for a spot if you have a peanut allergy).
*People with food allergies should be killed and eaten by the rest of us that aren't pussies.
*I need to eat every 17 minutes and if I don't, I will eat a different nonessential part of your body until I get some s'mores

11) Comments, additional questions:
*Sometimes I think that the clothes that I don't take on vacation with me feel bad that they weren't included and talk shit about me while I'm gone.

12) Haiku
Mud between my toes; whisky, the sounds of voices; the smell of
campfires.

I really enjoyed; Dan Akroyd and John Candy; In The Great Outdoors

im gonna haiku; haiku the shit out of it; haiku its brains out

The sun shines brightly; but my skin is still so white; oh yeah, I'm inside

we'll have outdoors sex; instead...i'm an engineer; don't do poetry

(note: the following is not a haiku... it's okay, she was an engineer)
Once there was a girl from Philly
Who moved to New York and felt silly,
She worked for UPS,
Cried from the stress,
And moved to Vermont where it's hilly.