knick knock kname

so i have a problem..
well i'm sure if you've read any of this you have rather non-surprised look on your pretty little face.. but here is the one i happen to be speaking of at them moment.
i knickname people
obsesivly.
if you know anyone i know, chances are i had a hand in naming htem the name you know them by.
miso, raynbo, kimmieballs.. yeah.. those were mine.
so this was always knida a thing just hanging below the surface..
until i started working with so many poeple that i only partially know yet talk about incessantly.
i work in a rather large office (3k people) for a rather large company and have a pretty large work group (viente)
so i realized this after trying to have a conversation with a coworker and was quite lost on who she was talking about.. so for your sanity and mine, here are the people i work with:
patches - a girl that is rather clumsy and had at one point while drunk attempted to give her self a lobotomy via rum-stir-stick.. she also happens to be called "twitches" (not my name) because apparently i drive her isnane enough that she has developed a twitch in her left eye.
haha
juicy - a wonderful guy that loves hippy music and drinking nearly as much as i do. no one can really say where this name came from other than one day i started calling him that after a conversation about those damn shorts college age girls wear.
cake - a guy that is a little odd.. well odd enough that we talked about him constantly via im and since the msmessenger icon of a birthday cake had no prior meaning it was assocaited with him.
loaf - sits next to cake and stares at the wall for hours on end.. no one is sure what he does
lolo - my former coworker who left due to pregnacy (although rumor is she hated being called lolo so much that i drove her from the company
leaf/ms. daisy: a bubbly caribean girl that lived in cananda for a bit (hence leaf... maple leaf... never mind) and gets rides from juicy daily to work (hence ms. daisy)
balls: my minion (and favorite name).. she is from peru and at a wondeful lunch once spent 25 minutes describing how much she loved bull testicles as a child.. i wanted to name her pelotas del toro but someone said that may be interperted as racist... ah well..
nuts: a new minion, not mine that seems to be a useless as balls.. thus nuts..
poppin: an intern we had that never talked but someone once found a utube of him breakdancing under the name poppin fresh
twinks: a old intern that was a ballet dancer and didnt talk all that much.. first twinkle toes.. then shortened to be named after that famous fairy
rather than explain the rest... we also have cheese, van, sheepfucker and cannuck (she ain't canadian).. so yeah.. thats my witty non-running based post of the night..

so i found an old email detailing my bitching about the employee known as balls and thought you may find it as funny as i did:

me: "i'm so sick of working with balls... she is unbelievably dense... i know this 20 minute meeting with balls is going to turn into an excruciating 3 hour endeavour... fing balls... i can't even deal with her today..."