Participationsmarticipation

So it's been forever since i posted here... mostly because most of my recent pieces have been dedicated to this other group in here and mostly because i'm lazy... but this brings up the point of my post.
i'm involved in a few group projects right now, all very modern-like where we are geographically diverse people working on a project together with the premise that we'll actually do more and be more dedicated because you aren't just doing it for yourself, you are doing it for everyone in the group... when stuff is done, there has been great feedback and encouragement from all involved... the problem being, stuff just isnt being done... people will read the replies and judge the submissions but rarely post any of their own stuff. this has happened before.. most notably (for me) with http://checkoutthisband.blogspot.com... at the beginning we had a bunch of people contributing, commenting and i was learning about great new bands (that i now count among my favorites: The Thermals, Califone, etc) but then participation dropped off and i quickly found myself being the only one posting without even getting feedback on my meager posts... the quality of the posts began to suffer and the became less and less frequent... CTOB died. i guess i could always start posting on it again, but i won't.
i love these current projects i am involved in and dont see them dying (for me) anytime soon... when talking to the other members of these groups (or potential members) they LOVE the idea and wax ecstatic about the potential for such a group. then they dont contribute. then i dont feel like contributing.
so..
for anyone reading, what do you suggest? how do you encourage participation without becoming a nag... how do you keep yourself motivated when the proposed source of your motivation doesn't show? Alas.
I'll post some of my recent art soon to get back on a happier note

Turkey Shirt

Turkey Shirt
Originally uploaded by anaxolotl

So it's been a while since i made a shirt and mau has been telling me i owe her one for a bit... and this is conceptually, TOTALLY hers. If you cannot tell, this is the famous gradeschool hand turkey put into a single color and based on an adult hand. I love the concept of it and the execution.. It could either be a turkey or a hand immediately after a hammer to the thumb... anyway.. unfortunately, it looks a little inappropriate (according to mau) when worn... apparently it looks like a giant grope.
can it be used like that? i think so.
grope.

mattWear 5 - Bill Hicks (on a SHIRT!)

I really like this piece. Too bad I gave it to Peep. Hopefully this will start my Chicago following and many orders from the greater midwestern metro area

Altruism Work Three

After narrowly missing out on the first two altruistic works, Hater got the third. I really like how the piece came out besides the fact it is disturbing as fk. It really wasn't supposed to be so dark but at least i learned a lesson about planning a painting while both parties are drunk:

m: what do you want? a cucumber?
ht: Liquor!
m: whiskey?
ht: Yes! and Hillary Clinton!
m: how about a fetus?
ht: YES!
m: and scissors!
ht: RUNNING WITH SCISSORS.

Anyway... here it is.. oh, and if you want the next altruism work, let me know, my queue is finally empty

i htink i have to get away from these constantly orange backgrounds

mmm blue fetus.. kinda sick.. i really was doing it only to contrast with the background

um.. no canvas left, yay!

i was proud of the fact i could paint words with a brush

fkd up the background and had to add the red shading.. i told hater that it was on purpose.. to symbolize the "womb" we were all living in

Ho(t)y(w)ing(s)

From Ho(t)y(w)ing(s)

For braincube: bring the wings to the west coast!
So, long ago i lived in upstate ny. It had snow, Genny Cream Ale and hot wings. I never really thought about how good they were until I moved to Philly and sampled the local "wings." Things only got worse when i moved to NJ. I started experimenting trying to get something that was beyond edible. Then i bought a deepfryer and i got serious about it. Well, i think i exceeded the deliciousity (as well as texture) of my childhood wings. Well, here is how you do it:
Note: All measurements are completely estimated. No measuring was done.

1. Defrost the wings completely! (Dammit, be patient, i leave them in a bowl of cold water with the faucet running more cold water into it).
   
2. Dry them very well. (They should still be refrigerator-cold.)
   
3. Create your flour mixture to dredge the wings. (note: i've spiced this before, and haven't really noticed a difference in the end flavor) Ingredients:
   
   • 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
     
   • 1/2 cup of corn meal
     
   • 3 Tbsp sugar
     
   • 1 Tsp salt
   
   
4. Make sure the wings are dry and dredge them with the flour mixture
   
5. Heat your deep fryer to 375dF (that's as high as mine goes). While it heats, put the coated wings in the fridge.
   
6. Make the sauce by mixing the ingredients well. Note: These are very loose estimations.. adjust them to taste:
   
   • 1 1/2 tablespoons garlic powder
     
   • 2 teaspoons chili powder
     
   • 1 teaspoon cumin
     
   • 1 teaspoon black pepper
     
   • 1 tablespoon olive oil
     
   • 1/3 cup Frank's Red Hot
     
   • splash Worcestershire sauce
     
   • 1/2 teaspoon mustard
     
   • 1/4 cup vinegar (or amount necessary to create consistency in picture)
     
   • 1/4 teaspoon of your hottest hot sauce
     
   • 2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
     
   • ketchup to thicken and cut vinegar-taste
   
   
7. Fry as many wings as you can fit in a single layer in the deepfryer basket for 7-8 minutes (wings should float). This will seem like it is longer than necessary but nothing is worse than wings that are tasty on the outside with salmonella on the inside.
   
8. when they are done, i put them on a cookie sheet over a baking pan in the oven (@ ~275df) so they can stay hot and the oil can be fully absorbed (see picture in album). Repeat the last step until you've fried all your wings.
   
9. leaving the most recently fried wings for last (so they can absorb the oil) toss the wings in the same groups that you fried them in with the sauce. Toss: big metal bowl + wings + sauce and flip the wings like you are flipping a stirfry until they are evenly coated
   
10. Use all the sauce for the wings (this made 18 wings) and then eat until you explode.
    

See the Picasa album for picture style directions. Ho(t)y(w)ing(s)

Vegan Food Reviews: Boca Bratwurst

I've enjoyed mocking the average vegan foods so much that i'm quite disappointed to review Boca's Bratwurst. They're fcking good. Maybe it is because your average sausage, even when made of animal, rarely resembles something that that was once loved by its mother. Loved before it was cruelly bashed over a head with a hammer, its throat slit and a rabbi was enlisted to say a short prayer.
Anyway, because they were able to make tofu of varying densities (such realistic gristle!) they were able approximate the average sausage. There is a bit of that tell-tale grittiness that seems to occur in most fake meats but other that, it's spot on. It doesn't even have that famous latex-condom-like casing that not-dogs are so famous for. Ugh. i just vomited a bit.
Anyway, aside from the cost, these are pretty great and don't even grill up badly... there isn't even the large, black heating boils that you may see in other products (i'm looking at you tofupups)

The Vegan Experiment Week 5

All weights taken at approx 7pm (before dinner) unless otherwise noted

Day 27
Breakfast: Bagel and peanut butter, Dinner: 2 Boca-brats and tater tots
178.2 lbs 15% Body Fat

Day 28
Lunch: Jalepeno Chips and Rosemary and Olive Oil Chips PostLunch: 10 Vegetable Gyozo Dinner: General Tsao's Tofu
181.4 lbs 17% Body Fat

Vegan Food Review 2 - Vegan Gourmet Cheese Alternative

Well I was unsurprised how uncheese like something labeled "Cheese Alternative" was. There was something reminiscent of the flavor of cheese (Monterey Jack Flavor) in there.. then again, you could say the same thing about a thin slice of shortening. In 18 point font it promises "It Melts!"
It doesn't.. at least after being left on a heating boca burger for 20 minutes or after a minute or two of microwaving. Regardless of heating, or time in the fridge, it has the consistency of regular firm tofu and a slightly crumbly texture when chewed.
All that being said.. with enough bourbon in your bloodstream as well as a hunger that can only be born of a month of veganism.. you can imagine that it could be a dairy product. and consistency-less, mostly flavorless dairy product. It actually adds something wonderful to the average boca burger, so i'll continue to rock it for the month.. but i suggest you never do.

From the website (www.imearthkind.com), here is a fan review... apparently, vegans are all high as shit and have no concept as what cheese should be like:
Some comments from our customers:

".....I have been vegan for over 13 years and have tried every vegan cheese I could find. Most of them were terrible. Until I came acrosss your cheese a couple years ago and now that it is sold on the west side, I can have easy access to it. I just wanted say I hope you have great success because I LOVE your cheese. I sometimes put it on sandwiches, make a grilled cheese or my favorite thing to do is to make delicious vegan tacos."

Road's End Shells and Chreese

Road's End Chreese Site
I really didn't expect these to be so bad as i thought of all the pounds of reconstituted powdered cheese that i had eaten over the years that had been produced by Kraft.
First of all, as you can see by the box: it states very clearly "Vegan." Well, by the time you get to the third item in the directions, they are telling you to add 1/4 cup of milk product. Having sworn off soy milk and not having read the directions before i got home, i didn't know what to do. I just assumed that something labeled "vegan" wouldn't ask you to add milk at any point. If you are going to be a vegan meal, figure out a way to make it so your customer only has to add water or something. anyway.. i approximated milk by mixing olive oil, water and salt.
i followed the directions and .. well it smelled like ass.
not cheesy ass... just plane stank. after a bit more heating, it did get a bit of a melty cheese texture.. but the stank never went away. Flavor? almost none. not bad flavor, just none.
well.. after a bit of franks red hot, cumin, garlic and salt, the smell was overcome and it ended up tasting like red hot and garlic (!).
soo.. it ended up not being bad. it was like slightly old pan of normal mac and cheese that was flavored with a 1/2 cup of red hot.
End Score 4 out of 10 tofu beasts

The Vegan Experiment Week 4

All weights taken at approx 7pm (before dinner) unless otherwise noted

Day 20 (Vegan with fake Meats Begin!)
Lunch Boca Bratwurst with soy fake cheese on pitas. A side of shells and not cheese sauce. Dinner: Tofurkey

Day 21
Lunch: jalapeño chips Dinner: General Tsao Tofu
177.4 lbs 16% body fat
General Feeling: mondays make m cry

Day 22
Lunch: miso soup, yaki soba sans chicken Dinner: two boca burgers with soy monterey jack and fake bacon
178.6 lbs 16% body fat
General Feeling: sad and overworked

Day 23
Lunch: rosemary and olive oil chips Dinner: garlic chips
176.2 lbs 15% body fat
General Feeling: silly drunk to they point of not being able to control what i say


Day 24
Lunch: vegetable wrap with cucumber, lettuce, sprouts and carrots Dinner: two boca burgers with vegan gourmet cheese alternative and smart bacon (fake shit)
177.0 lbs 16% body fat
General Feeling: drunk and sated


Day 25
Lunch: rosemary and olive oil chips Dinner: two boca burgers with vegan gourmet cheese alternative and smart bacon (fake shit)
178.2 lbs 17% body fat
General Feeling: happy for fridays


Day 25
Lunch: homefries PreDinner: Bourbon, Dinner: vegetable curry of some sort, Post-dinner: Bourbon
General Feeling: i don't remember. my liver aches

Elijah v. Veganism

Take this how you want and believe what you want, but i didn't eat meat yesterday because i had any unavoidable desire for it. Yes, i am very bored with this full-on dietary veganism, but that wasn't enough justification for me to eat meat. I went to my house to have passover dinner, so i did. Brisket and all.

After a discussion with mau, she agreed that i had proven whatever i needed at this level, so i decided that for fun, i'll start at the next level--the level that involves fake meats. After a short trip to whole foods i now have:
Tofurkey, Boca Bratwursts, some type of chicken nuggets, tofu taco "meat", soy "cheese" Monterey Jack Cheese and some Shells and "cheddar" mac and "cheese." When i get the chance, i'll review these individual assaults on god.

The Vegan Experiment Week 3

All weights taken at approx 7pm (before dinner) unless otherwise noted

Day 13
Lunch: salsa and tortilla chips Dinner: tofu nd noodles in yellow curry
179.4 lbs 17% body fat
General Feeling: still a bit hung over

Day 14
Lunch: salt and pepper chips, Pre-dinner: salt and pepper chips and blue tortilla chips Dinner: general tsao tofu, vegetable spring roll, chive pancake
179.2 lbs 17% body fat
General Feeling: sick and tired of tofu

Day 15
Lunch: Falafels and Hummus Dinner: tortilla chips and salsa
180.2 lbs 17% body fat
General Feeling: bored with food and really not any healthier

Day 16
Lunch: Jalepeno Chips and Salt and Vinegar Chips Dinner: Garlic Fries, Post-Dinner: Some sort of leftover tofu and asparagus chinese dish
179.4 lbs 17% body fat
General Feeling: drunk and bored

Day 17
Lunch: Rosemary and Olive Oil Chips Dinner: Fried Potatoes and Tofu with Red Hot
177.6 lbs 17% body fat
General Feeling: drunk and tired and bored

Day 18
Lunch: Rosemary and Olive Oil Dinner: Couscous and tofu in BBQ sauce and salt potatoes
176.4 lbs 16% body fat
General feeling: So done with this (being vegan isn't amusing any more.. just boring and a pain in the ass)


Day 19
Lunch: Pistachios and chips and other snacks Dinner: gifilte fish, matzo, kugel and brisket (it was passover at my parents)
179.0 lbs 16% body fat
General feeling: very full of course but i was surprised my body didnt react violently to the reintroduction to meat (even if it was a relatively small amount)

The Vegan Experiment Week 2

All weights taken at approx 7pm (before dinner) unless otherwise noted

Day 6
Breakfast: 3 Hashbrowns, Peanut butter on Toast, Dinner: rice noodles and tofu in soy sauce
180.0 lbs 15% body fat (weight taken ~10pm)
General Feeling: Drunk and Tired

Day 7
Lunch: Salt and Vinegar Chips, Dinner: Tofu and Pasta with tomato sauce and red hot. Post Dinner: Pickles
180.2 lbs 17% body fat (weight taken ~10pm)
General Feeling: Googly Eyes

Day 8
Lunch: Jalapeño Potato Chips, Pre-dinner: Tortilla Chips, Dinner: Tofu and Pasta with a horrible homemade thai peanut sauce (note: red hot does not belong in all recipes).
179.0 lbs 17% body fat
General Feeling: Not hungry anymore... my muscles are kinda sore.. like i worked out yesterday. Yesterday i walked between my bed and the futon

Day 9
Lunch: Tofu Soba, General Tsao Chicken from Veggie Heaven (fking amazing!)
179.2 lbs 16% body fat
General Feeling: very not hungry, tired, not sore at least

Day 10
Lunch:fettuccine and pesto, Dinner: bourbon, Post dinner: Tofu and pasta with horrible homemade thai peanut sauce (note: red hot does not belong in all recipes (even after a night of refrigeration), a box of triscuts
178.6 lbs 16% body fat (weight taken at 12:40 am)
General Feeling: drunk and ravenous

Day 11
Lunch: Salt and Vinegar Chips, Predinner: Pickle, Dinner: Tofu and Pasta drenched in redhot and vinegar!
179.6 lbs 15% body fat (weight taken at 12:40 am)
General Feeling: drunk and ravenous

Day 12
Lunch: Triskets Predinner: Pickle, Pitas and Hummus Dinner: thai red curry tofu (it was like a pound of tofu)
180.8 lbs 15% body fat (weight taken at 5:10 pm)
General Feeling: graceful like a baby gazelle

The Vegan Experiment Week 1

All weights taken at approx 7pm (before dinner) unless otherwise noted

Day 1
Lunch: Tofu Pad Thai, Dinner: Pasta and Tomato Sauce
182.8 lbs 18% body fat
General Feeling: Crappy and Tired
Day 2
Lunch: Jalapeño Potato Chips, Tofu and Rice Noodles in Soy Sauce and Sesame Oil
180.0 lbs 17% body fat
General Feeling: Hungry and Tired
Day 3
Lunch: "Salad" (Spinich, Carrot, Bell Peppers), Dinner: Garlic Fries, Post DInner: Tofu and pasta in Basil and Garlic
179.6 lbs 17% body fat
General Feeling: Really Hungry and Nic Fitty
Day 4
Lunch: A shitton of tortilla chips and salsa, Nopalitos Burrito and a Guacamole Burrito (no cheese), Dinner: Tofu and Israeli Couscous
181.0 lbs 17% body fat
General Feeling: Always hungry but damn sexy regardless of the fact i regained weight
Day 5
Lunch: Hummus and Pita, Salsa and Chips, Dinner: Hummus and Pita, Falafel Wrap
183.6 lbs 16% body fat (weight taken after dinner and drinks ~11pm
General Feeling: Drunk and Tired

mustache March Ends, Vegan April Begins

As a joke, i began inviting participants into mustache march. god knows what happened but the next thing i knew i had made it through the mockery and facial hideousness that come with a month of mustaches.

Unfortunately, march ends on april 1st. April Fools Day.

You know what is funny, vegans. That'll be my joke this year.

Damn, you don't think i can do it!? i just made it though mustache march, i can do anything. fuck. no animal products? yeah. i can do it.

stupid, stupid m.

So here are the rules: i have no illusions that i will be able to fully do this.. so i'll do my best. there are many levels of vegetarianism, peaking somewhere near veganism.. (note, i'm skipping the wearing no animal products phase as i don't want to buy new clothes. also, i'm cooking my food. fking raw food vegans)

• I'll start off as a vegan and do my best to keep with it.
  
• As I fail, i'll move up the foodchain and become slightly less of a vegetarian and work to stay at that level.
  
• Vegan (Not eat any animal products or animal derivatives: Meat, Fish,
• Vegan who wants meat (a vegan diet with fake meats and cheese)
  
• Dairy, Eggs, Gelatin)
• Lacto vegetarian (allow milk products)
• Lacto-ovo vegetarian (allow milk and egg)
• Pescetarian (allow fish)
• Pollotarian (allow chicken)
• Jewarian (allow beef, but no pork of shellfish)
  
• No-Red Meatarian (everything but beef)
• Failurian (eat as i do now)
  
• i'll not be an asshole vegan. (in restaurants, i will not complain about the lack of vegan foods and will not ask for anything beyond the removal of cheese or egg (and of course i'll not order the meat based items))
• Aside from while at home where i can easily look at ingredient lists, i'm going to use basic logic to decide whether a food is vegan compliant.. i won't ask the poor server to lookup the animal content of a food
• Booze is not an animal product
• I'll document my weight, body fat percentage and general feeling of health each day as well as my best recollection of what i ate.

I think that is everything.. let me know if you think i forgot anything or if you want to make generally disparaging remarks.

Starting stats: 182.8 lbs, 18% body fat, I generally feel crappy and tired
Meals: Tofu Pad Thai and Pasta with Tomato Sauce

Altruism Work Two

So i actually completed this painting in the first week of March and i was hoping to give it to the recipient before he saw it here. Well he is a lazy fk and i haven't traveled to the city recently, so it's time to post it. In all honestly, it's mostly because i completed the third altruism piece tonight and don't want to get too far behind.

I wanted to do a dragon for him using real basic shapes and mostly flat colors... he gave me the colors (and i'm really happy how they came out). (oh, and the background has a wicked texture that you can't see real well in the picture.) I found i had a big empty space that killed the balance so i had to add another element... what goes better with a dragon than a bunny?
Go me.

The edges are looking weak already and i'm realizing i have to do something to better define them.


Sexy foot. And most of the flat colors are laid down


what you may not realize here is that it took me 35 minutes to mix the blue-black for the eyebrows


And the finished product... i didn't intend the bunny to look so relaxed yet frightened

mattWear 4 - Gibbard

Feelign guilty for mau a shirt and not giving myself the same gift, i created another one.. trying a bit more of a difficult stencil that required a lot more imagination while finding lines of contrast.. i was searching for a good picture of David Bazan but found this one of Ben Gibbard that i liked a lot more... here was the original:

and the shirt:

mattWear 3 - MauWear!

As my drawers are already too full and shirts are the bulk of the problem (still sporting that Hum Shirt fro 1997) i decided to make a shirt for mau. After multiple attempts a tracing various bearded dragons and two headed llamas, i went for my first freehand stencil. So.. here is the first in a series of shirts that will be dubbed mauWear

mattWear - Mustachio'd Man 2

Inspired by my recent gift of freezer paper, i decided to attempt another shirt. "ahh but what subject," i pondered as i stroked my thickening mustache...

mattWear - Mustachio'd Man Shirt

Got a bit more comfortable with the idea of cutting out stencils... unfortunately, shortly after snapping this pickture and letting it dry, it appears most of the paint has soaked into the shirt, leaving a "suble" "washed out" image on the front of my breast. alas.. i still like the design though..

experimental patience

Apparently my initial guess was correct and my patience got in the way.  After a long ass period of time, the tea did begin to seep and now I have a tea colored, cold beverage.

Cheers.

I’m the best scientist ever

Experiment of the day.

No time to go buy hot water downstairs so I just threw a teabag in my
cup of cold water assuming that temperature can't be that important in
seeping tea. Maybe hotter=faster, but its gotta work no matter what the
temperature, right?
Well. So far no. so now I have a cold glass of water with a tea bag in
it. I should have been a little scientist when I grew up.

It's Too Early to Share

It is officially 8:13 in the morning, a good ten minutes into my day and
i am currently suffering through a harrowing tale of bowel torment from
the lady in the cube across from me. There are certain key phrases that
help you to realize that no, you do not want to be regaled with any part
of the narrative. The line that did it for me just minutes ago:
"Yeah, i popped four Immodium and it didn't do squat."
Dear cube lady: This is not a business appropriate conversation.
Addendum: as i finish writing this, she has begun telling the story to
a second coworker (from the beginning).
Additional bonus line:
"Yeah, i'm still running, but it's not nearly that bad"
[m shakes fist angrily at monday]

MattWear 1 - TreeShirt

So, braincube got into making his own t-shirts a bit ago and they came out supercool (i'll try and find a picture of his "brownie" shirt to post here). This inspired me.
Then i received a goonballin' t-shirt from raynbo's girl that i wear whenever i can..
Finally, it became time for me to attempt it. Lacking a screen printing device and much experience myself, my first attempt didn't come out as nice as either of theirs.. but, fuck it dude. i like it.
Here is my TreeShirt

The Metamorphosis

If only because i'm posting some of my other stuff, i'll post this one. i was really happy with how it came out and god knows where it currently resides. You see, as i was sending the provisionals the images below, i played with the envelope and this was the image that was attached to that sexy 8x11" envelope.

Buy This CD -- The Provisionals: Digital Lady

So, if i haven't already attacked you with all of my retail prowess, here is a post to tell you about The Provisionals' second (and best) CD: Digital Lady. It really is quite excellent and you should buy it. You can get it on iTunes, but i suggest you buy it through cdBaby so that you can get all the artwork i did for it. Yes, all that beauty you see (or will see when you buy it) was created by me at the request of those very talented California musicians (who i must say, have great taste.)
As i pleaded earlier, buy a copy for yourself, your significant other, your friends, your family and your enemies (think of it as the beginning of your reconciliation.)
You can listen to most of it on either their myspace account or at the cdBaby site.
As a special "gift" for those of you viewing it through here.. here are the originals that were used/cropped/written over by those musical sex gods, The Provisionals' for their second CD: Digital Lady. (If, after listening to this indie masterpiece, you have the desire to sleep with one or all of the band members, let me know, I have an in.)

PS: from their CDbaby site (before they change it..) here is a short description of hte album:

Arguably the worst band around - this barely meets the definition of music.

From New York and California, the members of The Provisionals created a velvetine lounge, turned up their amps and mixed bitter-tart melodies with harmonies, practically in tune. They then brought in sordid, checkered rhythms, and continued to drink Assam tea. Unfettered by tiny earholes, The Provisionals listen to The Walkmen, Elliott Smith, The Flaming Lips, The Zombies, and occasionally each other.

Front


Back


Inside (Behind CD)


Inside Cover


Liner Notes Background (foldout)

Altruism Part 1

So we'll forget about the recent pieces i've given to nishat and call this the first Altruism Work. I'm not totally disappointed by it, but there are a lot of elements i am a bit unhappy with (makes me want to paint something else and not screw up).. anyway.. congratulations kimmie.. enjoy it and get it framed (i'll keep better).

Really should have lightened up that background before i went any further. also, learned an lesson on the importance of sketching and not just saying "I'll figure it out later"


Notice the pinky gets another cm in length by the next picture.


Needed more movement... thus the leeches in the background.. they weren't going to be leeches but apparently that's what the brush wanted


It GLOWS

The finished product.
Don't let this one scare you off, i can paint better than this and just found a box with a full set of cheap acrylics. That being said, first one to comment or email gets the second altruistic work. (I took today off, so it could be done quickly... in theory)

Candidate Songs: Barack Obama

So, i got a little email from Jonah today, announcing how he had written a song for Barack Obama. It's super catchy and he is only charging $20.08 for the MP3 (all donations going to Obama's campaign) and i was inspired! I'll write a song for each of the candidates and only charge $19 a piece.

Well, if i record them.

So.. anyway, here is the first song. it's about a candidate that i am personally supporting (assuming Gravell doesn't get the nomination). Enjoy it.

Obamania

Rhythm (in 6/8)
(note, html reads multiple spaces as a single space... so you cannot see where the chords should go.. well it's easy.. for the C# lines, the last three syllables get the chords)
A(on 1) G(on 4)
1+ + + 4+ + +
C(on 1) D(on 4)
1+ + + 4+ + +

A(on 1)
1+ + + 4+ + +
C#(on 1) G#(on 4) A(on 5+) B(on 6+)
1+ + + 4+ + +

A G
C D

A G
C D

A
In 96 he made his debut
C# G# A B
this guy cares about the issues
A
oh, you know it is so true
C# G# A B
and he's a master of kung-fu

A
If you don't vote for Barack
C# G# A B
You are casting your vote for a Cock
A
be a man, Don't vote with the flock
C# G# A B
he'll clear the streets of all the glocks


A
go ahead and ask your momma
C# G# A B
she'll tell you to vote for obama
A
he gives her a ideological bone-ah
C# G# A B
he plans to help all the social strata

A G
C D

A G
C D

A
you know he asks you to believe
C# G#A B
the middle class deserves a reprieve
A
unlike clinton, he won't deceive
C# G# A B
our economic woes will be allieved

A
he promises to get us out of iraq
C# G# A B
for longterm planning he has a knack
A
lets get this country back on track
C# G# A B
please give us a vote for barack!

(quarter Notes hits)
A
obama
G
mitzvah
C
samba
C#
vodka
D
vulva
{rest}

C# G# A B
All great things, vote for obama

A G
C D

C D

I'm feeling altruistic

so my friends... I'm sitting here drunk again, watching west wing and chumby and I saw one of my most recent paintings I gave to nishst for x-mas... And I thought, shit. I should paint more. So... First one to comment or text me gets a new hand painted paint by the oh so sexy m
ps... I'll pay shipping

halftime penises and football pools

so the giants just won. and my BAC isn't even over .10...
in an attempt to get a respectable level, mau and i attempted a little football pool... a normal grid was created and randomly divided up between the two of us. by quarters, the rules were as follows:
Q1: 1 drink (matt won) (BAC: m:0.05 mau:0.14)
Q2: 2 drinks (mau won) (BAC: m:0.06 mau:0.00)
Q3: 1 drink (mau won) (BAC: m:0.05 mau: 0.03)
Q4: 3 drinks (mau won) (BAC: m:0.08 mau: 0.00)
with a bonus of one drink to the opposing player if the right digit of your BAC equaled the ones digit of either of the teams at the end of the quarter...

Btw.. did anyone notice the giant lit up phallus during the halftime show? or am i just a disturbed little boy

Update: Postgame BAC for m=0.15

World of What?

Let me prefaced this with the statement that i don't judge you. World
of Warcraft is a fine hobby that in no way causes me to judge you,
your physique or your slightly stank breath. I'd go as far to say as
it is quite a bit healthier, physically and socially than drinking on
your couch alone. (Yes! I admit it)

That being said, i am now in about the fourth hour of a series of
conversations around my cube (note: not in it or involving me)
relating to individuals trials and tribulations in a MMORPG that
apparently "[has] the power to make men cry like beaten orphans."* I
now know all about a quest where you are spawned into an area with
thousands of 162s(?) and badass orcs that seem to between you and a
trinket. what does the trinket do? i don't konw.. something about
transporting you back to a village. ("Oh that's all" "Yeah, man. But
you don't understand, it can transport me there from anywhere" "well i
guess you go in and battle a lot more than me, you know a whole bunch
of in and out action"(!)) My point being that my brain is already
dangerously overcrowded. Over the last couple days i've begun to have
a very real concern that i have an inoperable brain tumor that is
preventing me from either learning anything new or focusing on a
though for more than a heartbeat. Please do not shove your azeroth
laden stories into the fragile bit of cheesesponge that i use to
create coherent sentences.

Jesus, SHUT UP already... your stories about hunting yeti skins are
not interesting... not like my winding stories of sitting on a futon
watching tv and drinking... oh wait. shit.

*i do not in anyway endorse the beating of orphans.

Choose your Vacation with Style!

So my last department requires each employee to pick their year's vacation days on January 2nd. If you don't have kids with set vacations or set plans to getaway then you may as well choose your vacation days randomly. Well, mau mentioned this to me so i wrote a little spreadsheet to do just this. I can't post files on this blog for download (i don't think) so if you want it, let me know! (i have it in excel and open office formats (i suggest open office))

Go nerds

so I've decided

I want to be an eccentric... As I watch the the Royal Tanenbaughs (or how ever the fuck it is spelled) I've decided that being an eccentric is the best course of action for a soul like myself.
That is all. Good night y'allr

thing never to do... Part 1

brush your teeth and utilizes a q-tip simultaneously. Ow.

oh yeah, i was sexy

so if you weren't part of the debate, i had a mustache for exactly 5 hours and had a small vote on whether i should keep it.
The end vote was six to one for keeping it. Unfortunatly, i am sleeping with the nay vote.
So, i'm clean shaven now and not nearly as sexy.

i want to make chumbolotl better

So, for those of you that haven't heard, I bought (and received) a brand new "latte" chumby!
If you don't know what a chumby is you can either go to the Chumby Story or just read the next sentence:

The Chumby is a cute always-on internet device that plays flash widgets that provide various useful pieces of information.

Yes, it was a run on sentence, but i realized that i had more than one sentence worth of information. Anyway...
One of the coolest (arguably the coolest) thing about chumby is that it is a completely open platform.

• Anyone can make a widget and upload it for public consumption
• they provide the hardware schematics for any hardware changes you want to make
  • something about a daughterboard
• Besides creating just the widgets the OS is linux based and completely hackable

As you can tell, i am more of a repeater than an understander.
Anyway...
So i have a copy of the Adobe Flash development suite and some free time (not really, but i'll make it) and want to make some shit for my little Chumbolotl...

Any Ideas?

not new year's resolutions

i just wanted to point out that the self-betterment that i am attempting to start (again) is not a result of new year's resolutions. these are simply the DST resolutions that i'm attempting to restart.
so blah.
today i exercised for 45 minutes, only had 2 cigarettes and had a gyro for lunch and 1/4 lbs of turkey for dinner.
Now i am writing something online.
not bad m, not bad.

* as an update, i now have 3 basses in the house and have added a harmonica and an accordion**.

** mau has hidden the accordian