snickers commercial tab

http://kadel.blogspot.com/2006/07/snickers-chords-you-never-know-whats.html
hey kids..
so the wonderful snickers commercial came one where the guy sings of the merits of snickers and i relized how much i loved it.
so after a couple watches i think i figured it out... then surfed the web (jon stewart has a great routine involving "surfing the net".. download it somewhere) to see how close i was.. well i found the link above and confirmed i was close...
the only odd chord is this one (which i've seen a hundred times but cannot rememeber the name of) is
G!E
e 3
b 0
g 0
d 0
a 2
e 0
so the chords are:
G-------------------G!E
Happy peanuts soar
-------C---------------------Em
Over chocolate covered mountaintops
------G---------------G!E-C
And waterfalls of caramel
-------------G-----------------G!E
Prancing nougat in the meadow
-----------C--------------Em
Sings a song of satisfaction
---------G
To the world

Rock it out people!

check out her eyelashes

ah shite. the world and what its coming to..
let me preface this, i like tits, i like ass, i like abs.
but i am none of those coupled with "-man"..
once in a drunken conversation with a girl that was quite attractive (at least at the six drink level) and quite talkative.
shite.. what else could you want?
anyway... she asked and asked and asked
"what are you, a tit-man? ass-man (at this point i laughed at the term assman)... etc"
anyway after a few deft maneuvers to keep from cornering myself into the cliche of the mammary obsessed male i came out and admitted..
"im a face man"
(at this point she laughed, probably at my unintentional a-team reference)
we argued for a bit whether that was true and i couldn't seem to get across that a butterface is not an option but a floating head was...
anyway.. so i saw an article on Reuters today talking about the
new
hot
plastic
surgery...
eyelash enhancements..
yeah.. just what you think..
"aw... i keep going to the bar and no one hits on me.. it can't be my saggy ass or lopsided chest.. it must be...
my eyelashes"
think for a bit how wondeful men's conversation truly would be if this was an issue...
"yeah man.. her body is kicking but fuck that.. those eyelashes just are repulsive"
"dude.. check out that chick.. yeah. that one.. at teh end of the bar.. yeah about 40 ft away..
look at her eyelashes!"
"uhh... i wanna tap those eyelashs"
ok.. well i'm not to witty (say nothing miso) right now.. i am pretty sure i'm losing my mind and any abilities that are directly linked ot it.

and we're "forwards?"

From a <a
href="http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNew
s&storyid=2006-10-18T022106Z_01_L16264327_RTRUKOC_0_US-INDIA-PINK.xml&sr
c=rss">Reuters Article</a> I saw this morning about painting an entire
town pink to improve its image.

<i>The ancient town of Aurangabad in Bihar -- one of India's most
<b>backward</b> and poorest states -- is a hotbed of crime ranging from
killing, extortion, kidnapping and inter-caste wars.</i>

WTF? Aren't we past the point as a intelligent and culturally
knowledgeable society that the term "backward" shouldn't be used to
describe anyone? God, it sounds like some redneck describing those
"A-rabs" or calling some group "savages"... and this is on an
international news feed.
F that.
I am all for the end of political correctness (ask my Asian friends) but
this is just fed up. I'm going to go back to being angry with my job
now.

people without flavor

I've noticed this more and more recently and it's not something that I'm
sure I should be upset with..
But I am...
Hey, I never professed to be well balanced..
So one of the first things I do when I meet someone is to ask what they
listen to..
Music-wise..
"oh, everything"
F you.
You do not like everything, you lying piece of shiznit. You are telling
me that you like neutral milk hotel (listening to "Naomi" right now) and
you like teeny-bop-pop (I was learning "mmmm bob" on guitar the other
night)... okay.. well I guess it is viable that you like both but do you
really think my question was to weed out the fact that you will listen
to anything? No, I wanted to know what type of music you prefer and
here is the part that pisses me off..
People don't seem to have a preference anymore!
F you digital media! Have you made music so accessible that the gang
bangers downstairs are listening to the same shiznit as the ladies going
to church on Wednesday night?
You must like something more than something else?
God I hate your face...

alien probes

well not exactly.
So Monday I woke up with a chipped tooth and no idea how I got it.
Normally, this wouldn't be a huge deal (aside from the fact I'd never
chipped an adult tooth) as there is a good chance that while enjoying a
tall bourbon I ran into something (like a fist after an off-color
comment) or simply fell headfirst into something slightly harder than my
tooth enamel. But I wasn't drinking!
So what else could have done it?
I thought maybe food but my meals from the day before consisted of eggs
and bacon and bacon based pizza... hardly tooth chipping material.
hippyL suggested that either it was a DNA sample taken by aliens or a
failed attempt to place a gov't tracking device covertly in my temple
(that's what I call my body..)
so I still have this oddly shaped incisor and no clue of what happened
and I think it is slowly driving me insane.
Blah.

my turtles are pussies

do you remember francis? some of you may have scars taht could help... well he was my last turtle. a rescue turtle you understand... my sister found him in our driveway one summer when i was in college and rather than "throw him as far as you can into lake ontario" as my father insisted i accepted him into my care as a poor replacement for the dog that i left at home when i moved off to school.
he was quite a badass at a very young age.. he was about the size of a quarter and had that wonderful prehistoric look that all snapping turtles do.. so he lived with me in various tupperware containers of increasing size, eating what ever organic or inorganic substance that was placed in his little world. i had him for two or three years including a couple of escape attempts where he chose to roam the apartment at the time for a couple weeks. (often to be found, mouth agape in the middle fo the kitchen, demanding food)
anyway, aside aside, francis was a badass and was released into the wild after biting raynbo's girlfriend at a shell diameter of seven inches.
well possibly mentioned earlier i got the most cliche turtles ever at the end of sirenfest...
get this:
Coney Island, cheap plastic box with a little palm tree. Total price? $12.
yeah.. well these motherfuckers are pussies.
well this is longer than i thought it would be at this point and the eagles are doing well so i'll finish this later.

YARRRRRRRRRG!

 
So the new york boys had their second annual talk like a pirate day party.... it was a all pirate party ../ for the first hour... then.. well other people shoed up.. apparently very few people are interestign enough to dress like a buccaneer for a simple five hour period to get drunk...
well here are the boys and myself.. checkout g's gold tooth.. it's fucking bling ass pimp...

never let me use that phrase again. 

Xtreme Elmo

Ha.. this should be good for that old inside joke
XTREEEEEEEEMMMMMEEEEEE
http://www.engadget.com/2006/09/19/t-m-x-elmo-debuts-the-x-is-for-extrem
e-dude/

Yaarrrrrrrgggg.. work correspondence

I be celebrating the holiday like an admiral.. here is an email I sent
out to me deckhands (it be about two score of them) 1/2 of which I do
not know... yarrrrggggg be a pirate biatch!

Yarg... Let me be clarifying a little bit: This field be renamed last
January for greater consistency within the system (elements that return
the same data should be named similarly, no?). Whenever our crew be
making changes as such the old field is "aliased" so previously written
queries wont be crashing upon deadman's reef.
In our release this weekend a folder was moved and the aliases were lost
in the transition. This be not intended and will be remedied.
The fix be as Captn R say but you really shouldn't be waiting for the
alias to be brought in. The query should be rewritten using the most
current name of the column. Because the name change went in last
January we didn't have release notes so no one knew it changed. In the
future when release notes come out stating a renaming of a column
(should be VERY rare.. like the flesh-eating red whale) ye should edit
yer queries to use the new name...
YAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGG
--admiral m

it's not christian rock.. they are just chirstians

jesus.. (ha) this got me frustrated today... this is just my placeholder so i remember to bitch about it later..

m in hell

Arg.  I hope you find this entertaining.  I’m quite frustrated at work as we are trying to hire someone to replace an employee that quit.  Someone we desperately need.  Now I’ve brought forth a bunch of candidates but between politics and company policy, right now we only have one candidate available for the position… someone I have fought against, tooth and nail since I heard she applied.  You see I worked with her a few years ago and then she came to a training I was putting on, reaffirming her place in my mind as a waste of oxygen… so here is the conversation (with names adjusted of course) immediately occurring when I returned to my desk after a rather violent argument between me and my superior about the idiocy of hiring someone just to fill a space…  you see she believes that if we don’t fill this replacement space in the next week we’ll lose it…  I believe that if we would be better off not filling it and arguing to get the req reopened.

God I need to drink.

cannuck [1:54 PM]:

If we end up with only the 1 candidate and we hire her, I know you don't like her, but you have to try to work with her

m [1:54 PM]:

You don't have to worry about me trying to work with her... just my job satisfaction

knick knock kname

so i have a problem..
well i'm sure if you've read any of this you have rather non-surprised look on your pretty little face.. but here is the one i happen to be speaking of at them moment.
i knickname people
obsesivly.
if you know anyone i know, chances are i had a hand in naming htem the name you know them by.
miso, raynbo, kimmieballs.. yeah.. those were mine.
so this was always knida a thing just hanging below the surface..
until i started working with so many poeple that i only partially know yet talk about incessantly.
i work in a rather large office (3k people) for a rather large company and have a pretty large work group (viente)
so i realized this after trying to have a conversation with a coworker and was quite lost on who she was talking about.. so for your sanity and mine, here are the people i work with:
patches - a girl that is rather clumsy and had at one point while drunk attempted to give her self a lobotomy via rum-stir-stick.. she also happens to be called "twitches" (not my name) because apparently i drive her isnane enough that she has developed a twitch in her left eye.
haha
juicy - a wonderful guy that loves hippy music and drinking nearly as much as i do. no one can really say where this name came from other than one day i started calling him that after a conversation about those damn shorts college age girls wear.
cake - a guy that is a little odd.. well odd enough that we talked about him constantly via im and since the msmessenger icon of a birthday cake had no prior meaning it was assocaited with him.
loaf - sits next to cake and stares at the wall for hours on end.. no one is sure what he does
lolo - my former coworker who left due to pregnacy (although rumor is she hated being called lolo so much that i drove her from the company
leaf/ms. daisy: a bubbly caribean girl that lived in cananda for a bit (hence leaf... maple leaf... never mind) and gets rides from juicy daily to work (hence ms. daisy)
balls: my minion (and favorite name).. she is from peru and at a wondeful lunch once spent 25 minutes describing how much she loved bull testicles as a child.. i wanted to name her pelotas del toro but someone said that may be interperted as racist... ah well..
nuts: a new minion, not mine that seems to be a useless as balls.. thus nuts..
poppin: an intern we had that never talked but someone once found a utube of him breakdancing under the name poppin fresh
twinks: a old intern that was a ballet dancer and didnt talk all that much.. first twinkle toes.. then shortened to be named after that famous fairy
rather than explain the rest... we also have cheese, van, sheepfucker and cannuck (she ain't canadian).. so yeah.. thats my witty non-running based post of the night..

so i found an old email detailing my bitching about the employee known as balls and thought you may find it as funny as i did:

me: "i'm so sick of working with balls... she is unbelievably dense... i know this 20 minute meeting with balls is going to turn into an excruciating 3 hour endeavour... fing balls... i can't even deal with her today..."

a jog in the great white north

Stats:
1.28 miles (2.06km)
11:40 mins
9:03 mins/mile
General feeling: gaspy yuck

Point of pain: upper respiratory failure

Sweat Volume: ~2.0 liters

I am super proud of myself.. i am at my parents house for the holiday (and therefore rather hungover)  and i somehow convinced myself to run.  Jersey doens't seem to have hills.  Upstate NY (real upstate ny, not that orange county, rockland county bullshit) has fucking hills.

arg.

so hopefully ernesto will leave me alone after i regain the will to live so i can go fishing this afternoon...

did you know ale has never gone fishing before?  i hope she catches a record-sized northern pike.

--
(V))*)-(
¡♠U

tortoise style

Stats:
1.31 miles (2.10km)
12:14 mins
9:19 mins/mile
General feeling: pink elephants everywhere
Point of pain: brain... no... air
Sweat Volume: ~2.5 liters and still going

I wanted to just do a short run today (12 mins) and see if i could up the speed a bit.
well as you see i didn't. i blame that on rather poor ipod shuffling... Here is what i remember of what i had to listen to (and tell me if it would inspire you to run fast)
The Weakerthans (my Favorite Chords)
Railroad Jerk (sweet Librarian)
another Railroad Jerk song
a bit of Breadwinner (not that i don't love his music but you try running to a song called "Twang" anyway.. check out his blog.. its fucking hilarious, hopefully the booger will get off his ass and post more... The Histrionics of the Yes Man
Iron and Wine
and i think some Jack Johnson (i was starting to lose consciousness at this point)

anyway.. i blame it on my ipod and the fact i decided to run wearing glasses tongiht.. if you dont look fast you dont run fast.. you know?

tastes like blue...: More Paint...

I want miso to paint more for me.
tastes like blue...: More Paint...

like an antelope: Run 3

Stats:
1.76 miles (2.80km)
17:11 mins
9:44 mins/mile
General feeling: emphysemic death
Point of pain: full cardiovascular shutdown.
Sweat Volume: ~5.5 liters

Ugh.. I've been home for a couple hours now and i am still sweating.. maybe because i haven't had the energy to get up and turn on the air conditioning.
shite, i barely have energy to type but i was so proud that i actually ran for two weeks, i felt i had to brag a bit
or at least tell those who may have seen me out that yes, i did make it home alive.
i love my tattoo.
ha

just in case i go missing

i was always scared s a child because i didn't feel like i had any identifying marks.
this would be an issue if i was abducted my some weirdo with rather low standards.
i could just see the milk carton now:
"average white kid lost. no identifying marks, ah well, who cares, there are plenty of average white kids"
ha, well abduct me now mother fucker!
kill me all you want... they'll be able to identify me now
by my tattoo
yeah.
in the words of an ex-girlfriend's father:
i've "permanently disfigured my body"
and i love it.
(okay, just the disfigured part is from him)

lung function stops

Stats:
1.61 miles (2.58km)
15:50 mins
9:48 mins/mile
General feeling: Dizzy and coughing black shit
Point of pain: Lungs, brochial tubes
Sweat Volume: ~2.5 liters

oh god.
fuck inverting life.
this shit hurts
so i did my second run in three days, surprising myself in not giving up as quickly as most things that i start.
god.
so i am a bit disappointed because i ran a bit slower than my initial run but i blame that on the lack of smoking today and my undialated broncials..
now im going to drink the remainder of bourbon in the house and search for a hidden cigarette.

bored and dying

all I've been looking for for the last few months was some time by myself
and here i have it.
and i'm bored and unproductive
not even playing guitar.
i think that's why i'm blogging again.
sad or inspiring, eh?
i think i'll drink a bottle of bourbon.. there is a chance that may make the coming posts more interesting.

yet boobs are off limits?

Fuck.
i'm watching house now as there is little else on and i cannot bear to be active as i think it destroys the soul and
they just showed a testicle explode on tv
well they didnt show the testicle but they showed
the doctors face when it exploded all over it.
hey. at least life doesn't seem so bad anymore