argument for having children

So I’m at work now and recently sent one of my dataminers the definition of ameliorate, my nickname for her (it was the world of the day on dictionary.com)… she responded with the definition of her real name, Amelia: A Congenital absence of one or more limbs… I find stuff like this hilarious.. and now I realize the real reason anyone ever has kids… its not just because of the desire to continue on ones blood lines (go crips) but its for the complete power and experimental freedom one gets with the addition of a dependant…

Mother: “oh isn’t she cute”

Father: “yeah, I cant believe we have a child”

Mother: “wanna mess with her?”

Father: “sure? She’s just a baby”

Mother: “come on, that’s the whole point of having a kid (it’s definitely not the labor!)… we have complete control over this little one, whenever before were you able to really screw with someone and have no repercussions?”

Father: “wow honey, that’s pretty sick”

Mother:

Father: “Rock! Let’s name her after disfigurement!”

Mother: “sweet, I was thinking we could name her Clubfoot or Hairlip”

Father: “nice, but it just doesn’t roll off your tongue.. you have to be able to say “Hairlip, go play in traffic” smoothly.. those names just don’t work”

Mother: “Leper?”

Father: “No”

Mother: “Scoliosis?”

Father: “that’s pretty good…”

Mother: “Limbless Wonder?”

Father: “I really like that one!”

Mother: “Sweet, now how can we shorten it?”

Father: “hmm”

Mother: “Lets make her believe in the Easter Bunny and Toothfairy ‘til she’s 25…”

Father: “I’ve got it: AMELIA: Congenital absence of one or more limbs..”

Mother: “beautiful.. now lets get started on making her afraid of clowns….”